Post by Taryn on Dec 23, 2003 4:52:42 GMT -5
I have no idea what the hell this is, i just started to write and this is what happned. *shrug* Tell me what you think anyway please.
~*~
Dear Diary,
Well, there’s not any easy way to put any of this, so I think I’ll just come right out and say it.
My whole life I’ve been expected to act perfect. I have to be daddy’s little girl, I have to be intelligent, I have too be my mother’s china doll, and still manage to uphold everyone’s expectations including my own. But how do I do that? I know what everyone always says. “Just follow your heart.” What a load of crap. This is Lawndale, the equivalent of Salem, Massachusetts. If I show who I really am, they’d call me a Witch (or brain) and my life would be ruined. Before I go into a major tantrum and start crying, let me just tell you exactly what’s wrong in my oh so perfect life.
1) Workaholic mother who’s to absorbed in her job to take care of me.
2) Oblivious father who hides behind his childhood and uses his father as an excuse for everything.
3) A sister who is so wrapped in her own life she could care less if I ceased to exists.
4) The whole damn town of Lawndale.
That’s the shortened version. And the main question here could be “why today” why did I choose today to finally let all this out? It’s pretty simple, today I lost my only real friend.
In two weeks she would have turned seventeen, but instead she’ll be six feet under on her Birthday. My best friend was murdered by some idiot who was stupid enough to get behind the wheel drunk. She never did a thing to deserve this kind of fate. She was the nicest person I knew, and now she’s gone.
And now I’m crying. I loved her, I loved her like the sister I never really had, and now she’s dead damnit! This isn’t fair. My whole Life hasn’t been fair. When I was little I was always picked on. I always stood out in the crowd, and those kids never let me forget it. Do you know how hard it was for me? I went home crying everyday. My mom and Dad would both be at work, and it would just be me and my sister. You know what she did? She would laugh at me. Tell me that I was stupid, or weak. I always ran to my room before I let her comments sink in. But they did. To this day I can still remember every single comment she ever made. When I grew up I dealt with it a little better. I learned how to mask my emotions. I managed to make a couple of friends, and other people matured a little and didn’t pick on me so much. For that short period of Time life was actually bearable. But then Life noticed it’s mistake and went right back to punishing me. My parents decided to move to the hellhole of Lawndale. I had to leave my friends, my home, and the town that had raised me. I’ve never been good at making friends. At least, not when I actually expressed myself. At about the age of thirteen I had begun to notice something, everyone who was popular had one thing in common: They didn’t give a damn about anyone but themselves. I guess now I can tell that’s where I made my mistake. I had craved friends and popularity so badly I didn’t care what it costd.
I remember when we first arrived in Lawndale, I had my favorite outfit on, and I pasted on a small smile and headed to Lawndale High school. That was the day I met her. I don’t know how I can write this... But I’ll try. The first time I saw her, I could tell there was something special about her. Her face held no expression, but her eyes told me everything. She was tortured; she had dealt with pain in the past, just like me. That was one of the reasons I knew we’d hit it off. And I was right; we were best friends within weeks. I swear, of all the people this could have happened to, of all the people who deserved this, She wasn’t one of them.
I was sitting in my room, listening to some music and trying to finish my Math homework. I could here my parents fighting downstairs, so I turned up the volume on my headphones. My sister and her friend were in her room down the hall, talking about God knows what. I was singing along with the lyrics and I felt the cool night air rush in from my open window. I could smell the cookies our neighbors were baking. It was one of those days where you think nothing can go wrong. I couldn’t have been more wrong.
I heard someone bang on my door, I ignored it and kept trying to solve my math problem. Someone banged on the door again, I rolled my eyes and grunted in frustration. I stood up and took off my headphones and slowly walked to my door and opened it, my sister stood there with a slightly annoyed expression on her face. “What?” I asked her, she just looked at me and threw the me the phone, and then she left. I sighed and collected myself.
“Hello?” I asked into the receiver.
“You have to get to the Hospital, right now!”
“Huh? What hap-”
“Don’t worry about that right now! Just come! Get to the emergency room as quick as possible!”
“What? What’s going on? Wh-” I heard a click and the phone disconnected. I remember having a horrible feeling right then. I shuddered and grabbed my stuff, thoughts raced through my head, I walked faster and faster until I was sprinting. I grabbed Dad’s car keys without asking, and got into the car, speeding in the direction of the Hospital.
God... that smell, I still remember it. The hospital smelt like a mixture of disinfectants and other cleaning supplies. I looked around until I saw Sandy sitting in a plastic chair, looking anxious. When she spotted me, she jumped up and ran towards me.
“Sandy, what the Hell is going o-”
“It’s Stacy!”
“What? What about Stacy? What happened?”
“She... she was in an accident. Me and my date were driving down the street when we saw a car that had crashed; it was laying in the ditch on the side of the road.”
“So where is she? Is she okay?!”
“Please calm down!” I remember she began tearing up then. My heart stopped, and color drained from my face.
“Sandy, please tell me. What happened to Stacy? She looked up at me and burst into tears again.
“She.. She.... Oh God, I’m so sorry Quinn. I’m so sorry.” She started crying more fiercely, and I knew what had happened then. The sound of Sandi’s sobbing voice telling me what happened is always going to haunt me. I can still here it now.
I sat next to Sandy and cried, just like I’m crying now. Stacy was my best friend in the entire world, and She always will be. She never wanted to hurt anyone, and she wanted to become a famous designer when she grew up, just so she could use her money to help people. It’ll never happen now. She’s gone forever. But you know what happened to the man who murdered her? He’s probably at another bar, having one last drink before he heads home. They never found him. It was dark outside, no one got his license plate number. He got away with it.
See? Do you see why I’m so depressed now? Tomorrow I have to walk into Lawndale High with a perky smile on my face, and pretend like everything in my life is fine, just like every other day. Such is the life of Quinn Morgendorffer.
*QUINN*
~*~
*runs away from the laughter*
~*~
Dear Diary,
Well, there’s not any easy way to put any of this, so I think I’ll just come right out and say it.
My whole life I’ve been expected to act perfect. I have to be daddy’s little girl, I have to be intelligent, I have too be my mother’s china doll, and still manage to uphold everyone’s expectations including my own. But how do I do that? I know what everyone always says. “Just follow your heart.” What a load of crap. This is Lawndale, the equivalent of Salem, Massachusetts. If I show who I really am, they’d call me a Witch (or brain) and my life would be ruined. Before I go into a major tantrum and start crying, let me just tell you exactly what’s wrong in my oh so perfect life.
1) Workaholic mother who’s to absorbed in her job to take care of me.
2) Oblivious father who hides behind his childhood and uses his father as an excuse for everything.
3) A sister who is so wrapped in her own life she could care less if I ceased to exists.
4) The whole damn town of Lawndale.
That’s the shortened version. And the main question here could be “why today” why did I choose today to finally let all this out? It’s pretty simple, today I lost my only real friend.
In two weeks she would have turned seventeen, but instead she’ll be six feet under on her Birthday. My best friend was murdered by some idiot who was stupid enough to get behind the wheel drunk. She never did a thing to deserve this kind of fate. She was the nicest person I knew, and now she’s gone.
And now I’m crying. I loved her, I loved her like the sister I never really had, and now she’s dead damnit! This isn’t fair. My whole Life hasn’t been fair. When I was little I was always picked on. I always stood out in the crowd, and those kids never let me forget it. Do you know how hard it was for me? I went home crying everyday. My mom and Dad would both be at work, and it would just be me and my sister. You know what she did? She would laugh at me. Tell me that I was stupid, or weak. I always ran to my room before I let her comments sink in. But they did. To this day I can still remember every single comment she ever made. When I grew up I dealt with it a little better. I learned how to mask my emotions. I managed to make a couple of friends, and other people matured a little and didn’t pick on me so much. For that short period of Time life was actually bearable. But then Life noticed it’s mistake and went right back to punishing me. My parents decided to move to the hellhole of Lawndale. I had to leave my friends, my home, and the town that had raised me. I’ve never been good at making friends. At least, not when I actually expressed myself. At about the age of thirteen I had begun to notice something, everyone who was popular had one thing in common: They didn’t give a damn about anyone but themselves. I guess now I can tell that’s where I made my mistake. I had craved friends and popularity so badly I didn’t care what it costd.
I remember when we first arrived in Lawndale, I had my favorite outfit on, and I pasted on a small smile and headed to Lawndale High school. That was the day I met her. I don’t know how I can write this... But I’ll try. The first time I saw her, I could tell there was something special about her. Her face held no expression, but her eyes told me everything. She was tortured; she had dealt with pain in the past, just like me. That was one of the reasons I knew we’d hit it off. And I was right; we were best friends within weeks. I swear, of all the people this could have happened to, of all the people who deserved this, She wasn’t one of them.
I was sitting in my room, listening to some music and trying to finish my Math homework. I could here my parents fighting downstairs, so I turned up the volume on my headphones. My sister and her friend were in her room down the hall, talking about God knows what. I was singing along with the lyrics and I felt the cool night air rush in from my open window. I could smell the cookies our neighbors were baking. It was one of those days where you think nothing can go wrong. I couldn’t have been more wrong.
I heard someone bang on my door, I ignored it and kept trying to solve my math problem. Someone banged on the door again, I rolled my eyes and grunted in frustration. I stood up and took off my headphones and slowly walked to my door and opened it, my sister stood there with a slightly annoyed expression on her face. “What?” I asked her, she just looked at me and threw the me the phone, and then she left. I sighed and collected myself.
“Hello?” I asked into the receiver.
“You have to get to the Hospital, right now!”
“Huh? What hap-”
“Don’t worry about that right now! Just come! Get to the emergency room as quick as possible!”
“What? What’s going on? Wh-” I heard a click and the phone disconnected. I remember having a horrible feeling right then. I shuddered and grabbed my stuff, thoughts raced through my head, I walked faster and faster until I was sprinting. I grabbed Dad’s car keys without asking, and got into the car, speeding in the direction of the Hospital.
God... that smell, I still remember it. The hospital smelt like a mixture of disinfectants and other cleaning supplies. I looked around until I saw Sandy sitting in a plastic chair, looking anxious. When she spotted me, she jumped up and ran towards me.
“Sandy, what the Hell is going o-”
“It’s Stacy!”
“What? What about Stacy? What happened?”
“She... she was in an accident. Me and my date were driving down the street when we saw a car that had crashed; it was laying in the ditch on the side of the road.”
“So where is she? Is she okay?!”
“Please calm down!” I remember she began tearing up then. My heart stopped, and color drained from my face.
“Sandy, please tell me. What happened to Stacy? She looked up at me and burst into tears again.
“She.. She.... Oh God, I’m so sorry Quinn. I’m so sorry.” She started crying more fiercely, and I knew what had happened then. The sound of Sandi’s sobbing voice telling me what happened is always going to haunt me. I can still here it now.
I sat next to Sandy and cried, just like I’m crying now. Stacy was my best friend in the entire world, and She always will be. She never wanted to hurt anyone, and she wanted to become a famous designer when she grew up, just so she could use her money to help people. It’ll never happen now. She’s gone forever. But you know what happened to the man who murdered her? He’s probably at another bar, having one last drink before he heads home. They never found him. It was dark outside, no one got his license plate number. He got away with it.
See? Do you see why I’m so depressed now? Tomorrow I have to walk into Lawndale High with a perky smile on my face, and pretend like everything in my life is fine, just like every other day. Such is the life of Quinn Morgendorffer.
*QUINN*
~*~
*runs away from the laughter*
