(We see Beth crouched down behind a couch, she is wearing blue fatigues picturing a furby with a red X over it. She speaks into a walkie-talkie.)
Beth: Candy Cane Queen this is the Writeaholic, over.
Woot’s voice: What’s your position Writeaholic?
Beth: In the common area, I think I have spotted the king of the furbies.
Woot’s voice: (slightly scared) Really?
Beth: (she nods then realizes that Woot can’t see her, she gulps) Y..yeah, it’s big and bright green and horrible!
Woot’s voice: (keeping up a pretense of being calm) Hold your position and wait for backup.
Beth: No, I think I can take him. I’m going in, Writeaholic over and out.(she shuts off her walkie talkie.
(The camera shows Woot in her room in the purple corridor yelling into the walkie talkie.)
Woot: Beth! Beth! Wait! Don’t try to be a hero! Don’t throw your life away!( she starts crying) Beth! Why? Why? (she suddenly stops crying as realization dawns on her, she mouths) Bright green.
(The camera again shows Beth as she tackles the ‘King Furby’ to the ground and starts beating him with a loaf of sourdough bread she borrowed from Greystar.)
Beth: (hitting him with every word) Take that and that and that and that and that!
Suitcase Nuke: (for it is he and not the king furby) Ow!
Beth: Nuke!?! (she stops hitting him) I’m sooo sorry! (Nuke glares at her and she tries to explain) I thought you were a furby! (that doesn’t help the situation any) I’ll make it up to you, I’ll get some honey barbeque chicken wings and rent the Fast and the furious for you. Okay?
Nuke: That would work except…ATTACK MY FURBY MINIONS! ATTACK!!!!
(Furbies come running from every corner of the cave of bad fiction and converge on Beth.)
Beth: (sighs as she beats back the furbies) Sometimes I don’t know why I ever married you.
Nuke: Huh?
Beth: It’s an inside joke.
Nuke: That’s seems like the sort of inside joke I should be in on.
Beth: Well… you’re not. (she goes back to fighting furbies).
( The camera switches to down the hall where He Who Uses His Handle to Manipulate Helpless Girls and The Duchess of Art, Beth’s back up, are standing.)
He Who Uses His Handle to Manipulate Helpless Girls: Shouldn’t we go help her?
The Duchess of Art: (scared) But there are furbies!
He Who Uses His Handle to Manipulate Helpless Girls: Yeah, that’s why we need to help her.
(The Duchess of Art curls up into a ball and rocks back and forth.)
The Duchess of Art: Furbies, furbies, so many furbies.
He Who Uses His Handle to Manipulate Helpless Girls : Hmmm
(There is a long silence we hear various sounds coming from the next room, screams, shouts of ‘now we make you go sleepy’, and other gruesome noises.)
He Who Uses His Handle to Manipulate Helpless Girls: (puffing out his chest bravely) I guess it’s up to me to…
Furby voice from the other room: Human meat tastes good! Me like human meat!
He Who Uses His Handle to Manipulate Helpless Girls: run away screaming. Come on The Duchess of Art!
(they run down through the corridor screaming)
The End